Pain.

I could feel the knives from afar. Entering, turning, waiting for me to die. My mind was screaming, my heart was bleeding, as the memories faded away. But the one I still hold on to is of that deadly stare.

-by Asja

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Guilt.

Maybe it’s this yellow light giving me a moment of clarity. Or the fact that this silence is something we can’t out-speak. And this cloud is now over our heads, although we like to pretend we’re perfect friends. I can see this was an error in judgment on both of our parts. The doubt in your eyes cuts through this mist, for just long enough to tell me stories of our parting, and for a second, I catch a glimpse of your guilt for painting my blue sky dark grey. Me, opposite you, I just feel relieved. And almost proud. Well…as proud as one can be for letting a freshly-picked daisy die. But for the first time..in a long time, I did not turn into a marionette. I actually stood up for myself, differently than I used to before. Even when a black tear was smudged across my pale face, the woman that is now silently screaming inside of me put on a show, one of respect and kindness. And maybe all of this is human error. An inescapable, irrevocable, painful crash. From which as hard as I try I cannot recover enough to go back to the Sunday where that hit and run occurred. And all I can hope for is that this accident doesn’t taint your mind, because in those seconds when this yellow, misty, yet blinding light impersonates the sun, my heart still beats for you and I.

-by Asja

Future.

I still remember the day we met,
Your navy suit,
and my green lacy dress.
Your eyes across the room from mine,
sparkle building on sparkle,
life creating love.

I didn’t mean to act that way;
too cold, too unloving,
too far away.
Your lifeline could’ve clicked with mine,
but I was too broken
to know it at the time.

Now those days are a year away,
and you’re still a constant thought
in my head.
I tried to erase you a billion times,
but you, amore, wouldn’t leave my life.

I haven’t seen you in 11 months,
for I was chasing another life.
But when I’m alone in bed at night,
my only dream is your perfect touch.

And now I wonder if we’ll have it all,
as we have almost survived a storm.
I always say I don’t get attached,
but you, my love, just might be my nest.

-by Asja

Strangers.

Did I dream it? You and me.
Did we really sit right here?
Were those pearls for me, my love?
And those shivers through the night.

Now I’m staring into it,
A picture of your face right here,
Memories are fading fast,
But the one of our parting lasts.

Are we strangers in the hall?
So strong we were that we can’t talk.
I can see from looking back,
I was never meant to stay.

-by Asja

On Being Me.

I play hide and seek and jump fences at dusk. Just cause I want to feel alive. So I fall in love, not once, but a hundred times. And stay up late, not counting sheep, but piecing together broken dreams. And then I dream in screaming color about people I’ve never seen…and melodies that don’t exist. When I wake up to go about my day, I play with my hair and fix my red lipstick at least two times a day. I value time, and look for souls that may be lost in life. And when I’m down, I find purpose in the smallest of things, cause my eyes still sparkle after broken dreams. This is life with being me and I don’t think I would change a thing.

-by Asja

Hourglass

An hourglass was on my mind,

as your voice echoed through the night,

so here’s the story of you and I,

we had it all, except for time;

 

Now everything is just a blur,

as it happened in a moment’s spur,

and all I can is leave it to burn,

as I walk away as a batailleuse.

-by Asja 

 

 

Time 

A gasp of wind from far within,

Reaching out for you and me,

And just like that time stood still,

At the crack of dawn,

Not knowing what would be. 

-by Asja

Fast Train

True as the wind from east
,

life with you had little ease;

Like a fast train your look would strike, 

straight through that mask of glass.

-by Asja

For I Have Changed 

Lost. Not in who she is. Nor where she’ll be. But in the puppet show in which she’s the lead.

Disappointed. On a constant quest. Not for the dreams. But for the soul.

Torn. Between oceans. Longing for the world. Never not missing home.

Persistent. Always to rise. Not to be someone’s toy.

Certain. Failure she does not see, for a warrior she found within.

Changed.

-by Asja

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