until the last petal falls, i’ll be chanting he loves me not

for the mountains swept him away

and broken promises left a trace

as midnight approaches,

a thought enters my mind

that last goodbye forevermore might last

holding on for good and for bad

although there might be nothing there but air

the power of hope glimmers through the night

as if he once was your guiding star



And then the rains came and wiped away the memories. The shining pavements no longer had recollection of the leaves that crackled underneath our feet. And the sun that blinded my already-blurred vision now gave me new rainbows, each better than the one before. And every day I knew that one would come, but in those moments of torrential rain, I begged the sky to let it be incessant as it was only its heavy drops that could mask my silent screams.

-by Asja


I could feel the knives from afar. Entering, turning, waiting for me to die. My mind was screaming, my heart was bleeding, as the memories faded away. But the one I still hold on to is of that deadly stare.

-by Asja


Maybe it’s this yellow light giving me a moment of clarity. Or the fact that this silence is something we can’t out-speak. And this cloud is now over our heads, although we like to pretend we’re perfect friends. I can see this was an error in judgment on both of our parts. The doubt in your eyes cuts through this mist, for just long enough to tell me stories of our parting, and for a second, I catch a glimpse of your guilt for painting my blue sky dark grey. Me, opposite you, I just feel relieved. And almost proud. Well…as proud as one can be for letting a freshly-picked daisy die. But for the first time..in a long time, I did not turn into a marionette. I actually stood up for myself, differently than I used to before. Even when a black tear was smudged across my pale face, the woman that is now silently screaming inside of me put on a show, one of respect and kindness. And maybe all of this is human error. An inescapable, irrevocable, painful crash. From which as hard as I try I cannot recover enough to go back to the Sunday where that hit and run occurred. And all I can hope for is that this accident doesn’t taint your mind, because in those seconds when this yellow, misty, yet blinding light impersonates the sun, my heart still beats for you and I.

-by Asja

For Reasons Only You Know.

The pain from my lips smeared across your face.
Hair tangled up in the back of my neck.
Keeping the biggest secrets of all.
You and I now have it all.

I’m not hiding you from the rest of the world.
But is it so wrong wanting to stay in this cocoon?
Once we step out, it will be showers and snow.
So let me try to keep you and I warm.

Forever is a promise I cannot make.
Neither is an ‘I am here to stay’.
Cause both of us now are chasing childhood dreams.
But, trust me, I still love you more than it seems.

-by Asja


A paper napkin and a pen,
The keys are out of this prison cell,
For a dying heartbeat escape,
And a silent scream an outlet;

This music box was buried deep,
Right where we all dreamed big,
And monsters only came out at night,
Before the world turned us to ice;

Melodies were so serene,
Unlike the shield we were within,
And a smile could change a life,
For what we valued was gentle touch.

-by Asja


I still remember the day we met,
Your navy suit,
and my green lacy dress.
Your eyes across the room from mine,
sparkle building on sparkle,
life creating love.

I didn’t mean to act that way;
too cold, too unloving,
too far away.
Your lifeline could’ve clicked with mine,
but I was too broken
to know it at the time.

Now those days are a year away,
and you’re still a constant thought
in my head.
I tried to erase you a billion times,
but you, amore, wouldn’t leave my life.

I haven’t seen you in 11 months,
for I was chasing another life.
But when I’m alone in bed at night,
my only dream is your perfect touch.

And now I wonder if we’ll have it all,
as we have almost survived a storm.
I always say I don’t get attached,
but you, my love, just might be my nest.

-by Asja


Did I dream it? You and me.
Did we really sit right here?
Were those pearls for me, my love?
And those shivers through the night.

Now I’m staring into it,
A picture of your face right here,
Memories are fading fast,
But the one of our parting lasts.

Are we strangers in the hall?
So strong we were that we can’t talk.
I can see from looking back,
I was never meant to stay.

-by Asja

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑